Legacy of Kain: New Year's party
by OrpheumZero
Summary: Kain and the gang throw a bash! Evertone is invited! pt.3 is up! Now it's complete
1. Preporations

A Legacy of Kain New Year's bash  
  
Notice: You know what I'll say.  
  
Me: I decided to make this just for fun, and to bide my time until chap. 10 of SR: Enter the block puzzles.  
  
Raziel: Finally. A brake from this torture!  
  
Me: Um, no, not really.  
  
Raziel: Damn you Orpheum! You are not the creator of the series! This act of plagiarism is stupid!  
  
Me: Oh shut up.  
  
Raziel: Hmmp!  
  
(He walks off pouting.)  
  
Kain: Here we go. another parody.  
  
Moebius: Will there be any pain involved? Namely towards me?  
  
Me: *Evil grin* Yes.  
  
(Snap fingers, Dumah and Vorador appear.)  
  
Moebius: Oh no.  
  
(They drag him off.)  
  
Me: Well let's get this parody started!  
  
************************************************************** *************************  
  
(We are at the pillars, hmm, seems a lot of our parodies at set here. Hmm. any way Kain and the lieutenants, Vorador and Janos are all sitting around, by the way Raziel is his after abyss self.)  
  
Kain: *Pissed, like he never is* I'm pissed!  
  
Raziel: What for the 1000th time is it this time?  
  
Kain: I'm bored!  
  
Zephon: *Like most other parodies, a moron as always* Let's have a party!  
  
Kain: For once you got a bright idea.  
  
Zephon: :) Yay!  
  
Dumah: *Acting tough, as always* What kind of party should we have?  
  
Kain: *Shrugs*  
  
Janos: How about a New Year's day one.  
  
Kain and others: ??????  
  
Janos: It's a party where people celebrate the New Year. We could have music, dancing, food and stuff!  
  
Zephon: I like stuff!  
  
Rahab: Shut up Zephon!  
  
Zephon: *Stupidly* Okay!  
  
Vorador: We can invite all the other vampires and how about the guardians?  
  
Kain: Sure, I guess I can just kill them if they piss me off.  
  
Moebius: *Wanders in* Can I come?  
  
Everybody except him: HELL NO!  
  
Moebius: But why?!?  
  
Raziel: Because we hate you, especially me for tricking me and stuff.  
  
Kain: Ditto.  
  
Everyone else: YEAH!  
  
Moebius: But I'll be all alone.  
  
Melchiah: So, who cares?  
  
Moebius: I'll kick you're @$$ if you don't stop teasing me!  
  
Melchiah: Bring it on! Bitch!  
  
(They are about to fight when Vorador interrupts.)  
  
Vorador: Wait. I have an idea!  
  
(Walks over towards Kain and whispers something into his ear.)  
  
Kain: *Listening to Vorador* Hmm, really? Ok.  
  
(He gets up and walks towards Moebius.)  
  
Kain: Actually, we will invite you.  
  
Everyone except him and Vorador: WHAT?!?  
  
Kain: Raziel, Turel take Moebius into the next room, we have preparations to make for the party, speaking of which, when is it? Janos?  
  
Janos: Tomorrow night.  
  
Kain: What!  
  
Dumah: Don't worry dad, the others and me will get the supplies.  
  
Kain: Okay. Let's get going we have a party to throw!  
  
Everyone: YAY!!!  
  
************************************************************** *************************  
  
Me: Well that's all for now, I'll try to finish it by tomorrow.  
  
Moebius: What's going to happen to me?  
  
Me: You'll see. *Laughs evilly*  
  
Moebius: Oh dear.  
  
Please review! You know what I'll give.  
  
Bye! 


	2. The ball is dropping!

Legacy of Kain: New Year's party pt. 2  
  
Notice: Blah blah blah blah blah.  
  
Me: I've decided to make this into a three-part fiction. This will be pt. 2 and pt. 3 will be up tomorrow.  
  
Moebius: What is going to happen to me?  
  
Me: I'm not telling.  
  
Moebius: Oh no.  
  
(Is dragged off again.)  
  
Me: Well here it is, pt. 2 Yay!  
  
************************************************************** *************************  
  
(We see Dumah, Rahab, Melchiah, Zephon, Janos and Vorador are walking around the city of Meridian, shopping for supplies.)  
  
Dumah: Okay let's split this list I have here into separate pieces so everyone can do something.  
  
Vorador: I'll handle the blood.  
  
Dumah: Okay.  
  
Vorador: Yay!  
  
(He runs off for a second and returns with a large cart.)  
  
Rahab: What's that for?  
  
Vorador: Corpses.  
  
Zephon: Can I help?  
  
Vorador: *Evil grin* Sure.  
  
Zephon: YAY!  
  
(Vorador sticks that weird little thing that you put around a horse's neck.)  
  
Zephon: YAY! I get to pull the cart!  
  
(He and Vorador walk off until they are out of sight, soon, the sounds of screaming can be heard as people are killed and carted off.)  
  
Dumah: Blood - Check. Okay whose gonna do the food?  
  
Janos: I can.  
  
Rahab: I think I should handle that.  
  
Janos: What! Why?  
  
Rahab: Because you're a goody two shoes who will just get cheap weak alcohol and health food.  
  
Janos: No I wouldn't. I can get beer and stuff.  
  
Rahab: Yeah sure.  
  
Janos: I'll kick your @$$!  
  
(They are about to fight when Melchiah intervenes.)  
  
Melchiah: HEY! How about you get the hats and plates and other party junk, Janos.  
  
Janos: Oh okay, I even know a good place to buy those kinda things.  
  
Dumah: Where?  
  
Janos: Avernus.  
  
Dumah, Melchiah and Rahab: What???  
  
Janos: The Avernus store O' Par-tey stuff.  
  
Rahab: Isn't that place managed by crazy Hash ak gik?  
  
Janos: I think so.  
  
Dumah: Well okay get going, Janos.  
  
(Janos nods and flies off.)  
  
Rahab: I know of a store just in the eastern part of Meridian to get the food at.  
  
Dumah: Okay.  
  
Melchiah: What do I do?  
  
Dumah: You can go hand out these invites I made to everyone.  
  
Melchiah: Okay. :)  
  
(He takes off at an incredible speed, but, being the klutz he is, he runs right into a wall and breaks into many pieces.)  
  
Dumah: Idiot.  
  
(He helps Mel get back together.)  
  
Dumah: Why don't you go a little slower.  
  
Melchiah: Okay.  
  
(He runs off again but much slower and is soon out of sight.)  
  
Dumah: Looks like that's all on the list, maybe Dad knows what I can do.  
  
(He leaves the city.)  
  
***Meanwhile, back at the Pillars***  
  
(Kain, Raziel and Turel are standing around Moebius, who tied up in a chair, in the study.)  
  
Raziel: So what is it we're gonna do with him?  
  
Turel: Yeah.  
  
Kain: Vorador suggested that we use Moebius to - *Uses the Whisper to tell the two what the plan is*  
  
Raziel and Turel: Oh okay.  
  
(All of they except Moebius laugh evilly.)  
  
Moebius: What is it? What are you gonna do to me? What?  
  
Turel: Oh shut up.  
  
(He gags him.)  
  
Moebius: Mmmph! Mghph!  
  
(There is loud noise as the front doors are opened and then shut, soon Dumah enters.)  
  
Kain: What are you doing back so soon?  
  
Dumah: Everyone already has a chore on the list and there was noting left for me to do.  
  
Kain: I guess you can help us with Moeby here.  
  
Dumah: Of course, O' great Lord and Father.  
  
Raziel: *Underbreath* Kiss-@$$.  
  
Dumah: What was that?  
  
Raziel: Nothing.  
  
Kain: Just ignore him. Okay I know what you can do.  
  
Dumah: What?  
  
Kain: Go get one of those giant glass balls that you put on a poll.  
  
Dumah: Okay.  
  
(He runs off to do so.)  
  
Turel: Could I handle the music?  
  
Kain: Yeah sure whatever.  
  
Turel: )  
  
(He runs off to get that together.)  
  
Raziel: What should I do?  
  
Kain: Keep an eye on Moebi-@$$  
  
Raziel: Sure.  
  
(Door bell rings.)  
  
Vorador's Voice: It's Zephon and me, we've got the blood!  
  
Kain: I'll go and help, on second thought I'll just order them around, just keep him from running away.  
  
(He glares at the Time-Streamer.)  
  
Raziel: Oh I will.  
  
(He pulls out a teaser.)  
  
Moebius: *Has spit out his gag* O_O  
  
Kain: Okay.  
  
(He walks out, we can see the room light up behind him and the sound of electricity buzzing, plus Moebius' screams of pain.)  
  
***Meanwhile in Avernus***  
  
Hash: Welcome one and all to 'Crazy Hash's store O' par-tey stuff'!  
  
Janos: Yes, I need party hats, plates, and other stuff like that.  
  
Hash: Aisle 32.  
  
***Meanwhile (beginning to use that too much) we see Melchiah is at Dark Eden***  
  
Melchiah: Dejoule?, Bane? Anacrothe?  
  
Bane: What!?!  
  
Melchiah: I have invites for you guys.  
  
Dejoule: Oh cool, what're they for?  
  
Melchiah: Kain's having a New Year's bash.  
  
All three guardians: Oh COOL!  
  
***BlahBlah Pillars BlahBlah***  
  
Dumah: Okay let's see:  
  
Food: Check  
  
Alcohol: Check  
  
Blood: Check  
  
Party supplies: Check  
  
Invites sent out: Check Check  
  
Glass ball: Triple check  
  
Moebius, who is gonna be harmed:  
  
Raziel: *In study* Check!  
  
Kain: It seems everything is in order.  
  
Janos: Wait!  
  
Kain: What!  
  
Janos: We need a centerpiece for the table.  
  
Kain: Oh S#%t!  
  
Dumah: Wait, I have an idea.  
  
(He picks up a sword and looks towards Vorador.)  
  
Vorador: O_o Oh no, I know what you mean to do.  
  
Dumah: *Acting innocent* Oh come on please.  
  
Vorador: Oh god no.  
  
(Dumah swings the sword and cuts off Vorador's head.)  
  
Vorador: Not again. This is the thirtieth time.  
  
Kain: Looks like everything is in order. Time to set everything up!  
  
Everyone: YAY!  
  
***Next day just a few moments before midnight***  
  
(Everyone is there and there is a giant curtain surrounding the pillars, Turel is at a giant turn table set and is playing some nice music.)  
  
Kain: Okay Zephon pull it!  
  
Zephon: Okay  
  
(He takes out a flame-thrower and sets himself on fire.)  
  
Rahab: Idiot.  
  
Dumah: I'll get it.  
  
(He pulls a rope and the curtains fall, Moebius is tied up to the bottom of a giant poll, and at the top is the glass ball.)  
  
Kain: It's almost time.  
  
(At this time Zephon has been put out by Rahab, who is still stomping on him.)  
  
Raziel: Everyone.  
  
Turel: I'll start it.  
  
(He starts a drumroll.)  
  
Dumah: I'll get the ball started.  
  
(He hits a switch.)  
  
Everyone: 10.9.8.7.6  
  
To be continued.  
  
************************************************************** *************************  
  
Me: Well that's all for today, expect pt.3 on New Year's day, Jan. 1st.  
  
Moebius: *Looking at ball, which is descending slowly* Oh no.  
  
Please review and I will add ultimate weapons of destruction to the usual gifts I give.  
  
Happy New Year's  
  
Bye! 


	3. Celebration, Moeby beating and Kain gett...

Legacy of Kain: A New Year's Party  
  
Notice: Blah don't own LOK blah something blah.  
  
Me: Well I'm sure you're all a little confused as to why I had to split up yesterdays part, but I had to make it back to somewhere to see a show.  
  
Moebius: *steering at ball which is slowly descending*  
  
Kain: Are we gonna start now?  
  
Me: Yes, well here it is. Pt. 3 of 3 and that's all folks.  
  
************************************************************** *************************  
  
(We come in just as we left everyone counting down. Kain is holding a little device in his hand.)  
  
Everyone: .5.4.3.2.1.0!  
  
(Kain presses the switch and the ball comes smashing down on Moebius' head and soon engulfs him in glass, meanwhile everyone then cheers and confetti is thrown and kazoos are blown and champagne bottles are uncorked.)  
  
Moebius: *Somewhere in the shower of broken glass* AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGG HHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Janos: HAPPY YEAR!  
  
(He then takes a huge swig of ale and falls over laughing with joy and just plain goofiness.)  
  
Dumah: *Slightly, yet violently drunk* YAY! *Hiccups* CRAPPY HEW BEER!  
  
(He then runs off and begins to kill random humans.)  
  
Umah: Great party Kain.  
  
Kain: ^__^ Thanks.  
  
Umah: *Starting to get a little drunk* You know your starting to look really hot.  
  
Kain: O_o Really?  
  
Umah: Yeah.  
  
Kain: So how's undead life been treating you?  
  
Umah: *Gulping down champagne* Fine.  
  
(She then whispers naughty things into Kain's ears.)  
  
Kain: ^__O Oh yeah.really? Okay let's go.  
  
(He and Umah run off into his chamber.)  
  
Raziel: O_o Lucky bastard.  
  
(He places a 'Do not disturb sign on door'.)  
  
Rahab: *is having a conversation with Nuraptor* So what was it like going nuts?  
  
Nuraptor: Meh.*shrugs*  
  
Zephon: Where's dad?  
  
Raziel: He's uh. 'Rockin' the casaba'.  
  
Zephon: Oh. well I hope he took a hat with him.  
  
Raziel: '-__-0 Idiot.  
  
**Two hours later**  
  
2:00 am.  
  
(Sebastian, Marcus, Faustus, Vorador and Janos are so drunk, they are trying to sing, but all they can do is make incoherent mumbling.)  
  
Dumah: UHGH! *Is having a hangover*  
  
(Kain and Umah can be heard laughing quit naughtily in Kain's room.)  
  
Bane: *Stoned, yet again* Peace dude.  
  
Dejoule: *passed out*  
  
Anacrothe: *Is talking to Turel* And that's why I think Breakdancing sucks.  
  
Turel: You suck, that dancing rules!  
  
(They argue for awhile, suddenly Zephon calls out.)  
  
Zephon: PINYOTTA TIME!  
  
Everyone: COOL!  
  
(They swarm over towards him and stare at a curtain next to him, they notice a some blood at the foot of them that leads towards the pole where the ball was.)  
  
Raziel: What's behind them?  
  
Zephon: Behold!  
  
(He pulls the curtains away to reveal Moebius, who is pretty beaten looking from the glass that had cut him up, he is suspended by a rope tied to his gut. Zephon hands out sticks to everyone.)  
  
Dumah: *Still a little hanged over* Is there candy in him?  
  
Zephon: No. I just thought it would be fun if we all pummeled him to death.  
  
Everyone except Moebius: *Evil grins*  
  
Moebius: Oh no.  
  
(They all charged at him and begin to whack him senseless, meanwhile Kain and Umah appear from his room, Kain's hair is all fuzzy and some strands are stringing around his head, that cape scarf thing on his arm is all wrinkled and not tied on right, he also has lipstick marks all over his face. Umah's dress is slightly loose.)  
  
Kain: What's going on here.  
  
Dumah: We're beating the S#*%! out of Moebius.  
  
Kain: Can we join?  
  
Zephon: Sure.  
  
(He hands Kain and Umah each a stick, they join in on the beating.)  
  
Moebius: OW! My spleen! OWOW My skull! *Winces in pain, he then says with a high pitched voice* My little Moe.  
  
***Three hours later***  
  
5:00 am.  
  
(Everyone has finished beating Moebius, someone would occasionally whack, Zephon is just walking around, he seems lightly burned, apparently, Dumah poured champagne all over him, Raziel is talking to Ariel, Rahab and Nuraptor are floating around in the pool, passed out. Turel and Anacrothe are asleep with their hands around the others throat. Kain and Umah are snuggled up together asleep with a blanket covering them, Janos and the others are passed out.)  
  
Kain: I love you Umah.  
  
Umah: *is mumbling something sleepily*  
  
Zephon: Hey!  
  
Janos: *waking up* What?  
  
Zephon: We didn't sing that song.  
  
Raziel: What song?  
  
Zephon: You know, that song people sing when the New Year is in.  
  
Kain: *Kinda pissed about this* Now what I've got to sing?  
  
Zephon: Please.  
  
Kain: Oh all right.  
  
(Everyone gets up and they group up, they begin to sing that song, Turel seems to be singing the better of anyone, Kain is just standing there holding hands with Umah, looking pissed, Zephon, who didn't know the words, gave up singing and decided to play with a torch, bad idea, being damped from champagne he lights up like a freaking bulb and begins to run around screaming of the pain, no one notices this.)  
  
Zephon: IT BURNS!!!  
  
(He runs around behind everyone screaming his screams actually fit into the singing if imagine someone screaming like nuts while the song is being sung.)  
  
Everyone: Happy New Year!  
  
(Suddenly Zephon breaks through the crowd and crashes into Kain, they both fall over and the scene fades to black as we hear Kain screaming and yelling at Zephon.)  
  
************************************************************** *************************  
  
Me: Well I hope you liked it, I know it's not as good as E.T.B.P's, but I'm trying to see If I can do other things.  
  
Moebius: Please, no more.  
  
Me: Shut up, anyway, I will try to get a tenth chapter for my current fiction, I am also planing on writing a story about me, it's currently entitled: The History of Orpheum.  
  
Well I hoped you enjoyed this, tell me if I should write a sequel next year.  
  
Bye! 


End file.
